Encouragement

It started with the church service this morning...
The verse that hit me in our scripture reading was Luke 2:19. I had heard this verse plenty of times before, but today I had brought my Message paraphrase with me, and the words struck me in a special way. The verse read: "Mary kept all these things to herself, holding them dear, deep within herself."
I immediately identified with Mary. I thought of the refreshing times I have had to sit and think with God, and revel in what he's doing in my life. I thought of the times I long to be able to journal every single detail of what God is teaching me moment by moment in everyday, but I get overwhelmed and disappointed in myself for forgetting some things. Or maybe it's more-so the fact that I haven't "allowed myself" enough "date with God" time lately. And I mean a real date... one of those that you're reluctant to let end until you've exhausted every topic of conversation you're longing to share thoughts about. You wish it could go on forever simply because you enjoy being in the presence of the other so much. :) Yeah, there you have it, I've concluded that I'm thirsting for more dates with God...and I can't make up excuses to re-schedule.
But I haven't even expanded on the thought that hit me the most - it's that she kept them deep within herself, holding them dear. I desire to share and encourage others with what God is doing in my life, and that was one of my main reasons for starting this blog in the first place. While I still think that is a good and important goal, I can't forget that God is with me in the deepest core of who I am, and when I take even brief moments during the day to smile and thank God for the unique moments of beauty or fresh insight he blesses me with, it's almost like a quick text message to a friend, or a secret message or inside joke you share with a special someone. And it's these moments that enhance my beautiful love affair with Jesus, even when our exclusive dates happen less frequently for a time... Because no matter how hard I try to keep healthy habits, like journaling, a regular part of my life, it's not the amount of will power or determination I have that defines my relationship with Jesus, it's about surrendering every single part of my life into God's hands, and letting him dwell in me richly through each moment and circumstance.
God, I want YOU to be glorified through my life... and through my weaknesses, remind me that your strength shines through me. And through all that you've created me to be, use me and be with me for your pleasure and glory in my life. Thank you for all the moments that I remember your grace and truth poured out to me (and for the opportunities I've had to share them!). I thank you too for all the little details and moments that are less clear in my memory, and I know with confidence that you can and will bring them to mind for me whenever they may help further give glory to your name! :) I love you Lord!

Wow, that was just the first point of encouragement I wanted to share about from today. The second mix of thoughts came at the B.I.G. community youth event tonight. The topic was forgiveness. One of the main points was that forgiveness can often be most freeing for the forgiver. As the talk progressed, this eventually got me to thinking about the ultimate offer of forgiveness from the only ONE who will never need to be forgiven. If we can argue that harboring any sort of unforgiveness is hurtful to us, then OF COURSE God could never hold a grudge against us, right? Now, obviously, God would seem to have every right to do just that, since we have sinned and fail to meet the awesome standards of holiness required to have a pure, unblemished relationship with God, our perfect Creator. And yet God chooses to offer forgiveness through an incredible sacrfice. Wow... Of course God's forgiveness and grace has made my jaw drop in awe a number of times before, but now in yet another fresh perspective, I'm pondering the truth of this ultimate offering of forgiveness. :) God IS Love, and it would be against his very nature to offer us anything less than total forgiveness (which one beautiful definition we brought up for this word tonight was God won't throw our sins back in our face).

Hmm, we also had a great talk about how our own insecurities are what leads us to have struggles in our relationships here on earth, and how that keeps us from forgiving others. It was so good, and it reminded me of what we need to have to feel more secure - and that is our identity firmly rooted in Jesus Christ, and know the true depth of his awesome forgiveness. :) I could soooo go on, but, I'm going to get going for now. Until next time... I'll keep pondering all of these beautiful truths of God in my heart. ;)

Changing the rules...

So, a few weeks ago I finally took the time to set goals and boundaries for my blogs... and then I haven't stuck to them. In fact, I even broke my rules right off the bat. It looks like I need to keep re-thinking and refining my plans. :)
Oh well... for now, this is just a warning message that I'm about to break the rules again, because I stubbornly want to post some encouraging thoughts I had today without taking the time to blog about them on my other blog first!

Just one more...

Okay, I lied, sorry. I have one more thing to share. I have been praying that God would help me loosen my reigns on "my stuff" as I'm preparing to leave for Greece, and God has definitely brought several challenging "helps" my way. I'll share just a few...

...starting with a great conversation with a friend that reminded me that "my stuff" really isn't "mine" at all. It's a gift and a trust from God to use whatever I have to glorify him. Having lived out of a suitcase for the last four months, he also reminded me how freeing it is to manage less stuff and realize how little you really need. It reminded me of my similar thoughts and experiences living out of a suitcase last summer. :)

And then there was reading the blog of a missionary couple I met for a few brief minutes when I was in Thailand last August... They are getting ready to fly to their new mission field and have to limit their "stuff" to 33 lbs per suitcase... and the way she blogged about this experience definitely resonates with my experiences right now as I'm sorting through stuff in my room:
We have been getting things done and going through our stuff and I'm shocked that I'm finding so much stuff that I just can not part with. I found a folder of Josiah's art since he was old enough to hold a crayon...and there are some serious master pieces in there! I found a book of notes that John and I had written to each other while we were dating...I found an old sketch book of John's that he's kept since he was 14...and so many other things.I could go on and on. The insane thing is that our luggage is already over weight!!! The airline...AIR ASIA....are quite simply crooks...ok so maybe that's a little too strong. But that sure is how it feels. They only allow 15kg per person which is 33 pounds. It's known as a trap...because usually if you pack LIGHT...ONE suitcase weighs 33 pounds. And you are allowed 2 suitcases....so you almost always end up paying for a whole bag per kg. Imagine moving...all that you have...and having to choose only 33 pounds worth of stuff...It's INSANE! Yesterday I was sifting through stuff and I just had to keep saying out loud..."all for you Jesus"...and at times I would say "it's just stuff...it's all gonna burn eventually anyway... right?".... ugg.... I believe we're just going to have to pack up some boxes and leave them here in Thailand and when we have the money...send for them. That's our best bet right now... It's a good thing to experience...I think. It would be great for everyone to have to let go of STUFF...all of it...except for what you can fit in a suitcase...it's HARD but freeing.

Also, if you look ahead a couple of posts, the passage in Acts 20 about Paul leaving for Jerusalem reminded me of the importance of giving versus having...

AND THEN, finally, the real kicker that booted me hard...another page in the Revolution in World Missions book:
Economist Robert Heilbroner describes the luxuries a typical American family would have to surrender if they lived among the 1 billion hungry people in the Two-Thirds World:
We begin by invading the house of our imaginary American family to strip it of its furniture. Everything goes: beds, chairs, tables, television sets, lamps. We will leave the family with a few old blankets, a kitchen table, a wooden chair. Along with the bureaus go the clothes. Each member of the family may keep in his wardrobe his oldest suit or dress, a shirt or blouse. We will permit a pair of shoes for the head of the family, but none for the wife or children.
We move to the kitchen. The appliances have already been taken out, so we turn to the cupboards... The box of matches may stay, a small bag of flour, some sugar and salt. A few moldy potatoes, already in the garbage can, must be rescued, for they will provide much of tonight's meal. We will leave a handful of onions and a dish of dried beans. All the rest we take away: the meat, the fresh vegetables, the canned goods, the crackers, the candy.
Now we have stripped the house: the bathroom has been dismantled, the running water shut off, the electric wires taken out. Next we take away the house. The family can move to the tool shed...Communications must go next. No more newspapers, magazines, books - not that they are missed, since we must take away our family's literacy as well. Instead, in our shantytown we will allow one radio...
Now government services must go next. No more postmen, no more firemen. There is a school, but it is three miles away and consists of two classrooms... There are, of course, no hospitals or doctors nerby. The nearst clinic is ten miles away and is tended by a midwife. It can be reached by bicycle, provided the family has a bicycle, which is unlikely...
Finally, money. We will allow our family a cash hoard of five dollars. This will prevent our breadwinner from experiencing the tragedy of an Iranian peasant who went blid because he could not raise the $3.94 which he mistakenly thought he needed to receive admission to a hospital where he could have been cured.
This is an accurate description of the lifestyle and world from which I [evangelist, K.P. Yohannan] came. From the moment I touched foot on American soil, I walked in an unbelieving daze. How can two so different economies coexist simultaneously on the earth?"

Maybe more people should read this as they're worried about the "bad economy" situation in our country right now...

Quotes

As I've been wading through my stacks of books to consider giving away, I ran across a good handful of them that I haven't even read yet. And then with urgency far greater than I usually had for reading a college assignment... I read the majority of these books... and I stumbled upon some great treasures of truth. Let me share a few of the quotes that hit me most:

From John Piper's Don't Waste Your Life:

"So here is the question to test whether you have been sucked into this world's destortion of love: Would you feel more loved by God if he made much of you, or if he liberated you from the bondage of self-regard, at great cost to himself, so that you enjoy making much of him forever?" (p. 36)

"'What's wrong with it?' is the kind of question that will rarely yield a lifestyle that commends Christ as all-satisfying and makes people glad in God. It simply results in a list of don'ts. It feeds the avoidance ethic.
The better questions to ask about possible behaviors is: How will this help me treasure Christ more? How will it help me show that I do treasure Christ? How will it help me know Christ or display Christ? The Bible says, 'Whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God' (1 Cor 10:31). So the question is mainly positive, not negative. How can I portray God as glorious in this action? How can I enjoy making much of him in this behavior?
Oh, how many lives are wasted by people who belive that the Christian life means simply avoiding badness and providing for the family. So there is no adultery, no stealing, no killing, no embezzlement, no fraud - just lots of hard work during the day, and lots of TV and PG-13 videos in the evening (during quality family time), and lots of fun stuff on the weekend - woven around church (mostly). This is life for millions of people. Wasted life. We were created for more, far more." (p. 199)
"It is true that God can be known and enjoyed in every legitimate vocation; but when he deploys you from one place to the next, he offers fresh and deeper drinking at the fountain of his fellowship. God seldom calls us to an easier life, but always calls us to know more of him and drink more deeply of his sustaining grace." (p. 178)
"May God help you. May God free you. May God give you a fresh, Christ-exalting vision for your life - whether you go to an unreached people or stay firmly and fruitfully at your present post. May your vision get its meaning from God's great purpose to make the nations glad in him. May the cross of Christ be your only boast, and may you say, with sweet confidence, to live is Christ, and to die is gain." (p. 179)

Making the Church Work by Edward H. Hammett:

Are we seeking to spread "church-ianity" or "Christianity?
We need to be more concerned with people, not with programs; have an outward, not an inward focus; and be a balance of a "being"/"doing" church, not just solely "doing." The church should be servant- and ministry-minded, not just self-serving/maintenance-minded, and we need "GO structures" to be encouraged and created to provide channels of ministry beyond the institution, interested in making a difference in the world... as opposed to the "come structures" that seek to encourage people primarily to serve within the institution, with interest in "adding to the church." (p. 98)

Simple Church by Thom Rainer and Eric Geiger:

"Cross Church is committed to loving God, loving others, and serving others. One church leader says, 'We ask people to do three things a week here. Come to a worship service to fall more in love with God and His Word. Go to a small group to love others in community. Serve in a ministry to impact others. Love God, love others, serve the world. We really try to keep it that simple.'" (p. 41)

And finally one of the most convicting stories of an evangelist from India who came to America and later became the founder of Gospel for Asia. This post is already getting almost too long to be beneficial, so I'll just share ONE of the many pages that really hit me:

Revolution in World Missions by K.P. Yohannan
"Coming from India, where I was beaten and stoned for my faith, I know what it is to be a persecuted minority in my own country. When I set foot on Western soil, I could sense a spirit of religious liberty. Americans have never known the fear of persecution. Nothing seems impossible to them.
From India, I always had looked to the United States as a fortress of Christianity. With the abundance of both spiritual and material things, affluence unsurpassed by any nation on earth, and a totally unfettered church, I expected to see a bold witness. God's grace obviously has been poured out on this nation and Church in a way no other people ever have experienced.
Instead I found a Church in spiritual decline. American believers were still the leading givers to missions, but this appeared due more to historical accident than the deep-set conviction I expected to find. As I spoke in churches and met average Christians, I discovered they had terrible misconceptions about the missionary mandate of the Church. In church meetings, as I listened to the questions of my hosts and heard their comments about the Two-Thirds World, my heart would almost burst with pain. These people, I knew, were capable of so much more. They were dying spiritually, but I knew God wanted to give them life again. He wanted His Church to recover its moral mandate and sense of mission.
I didn't yet know how. I didn't know when. But I knew one thing: God did not shower such great blessing on this nation for the Christians to live in extravagance, in self-indulgence and in spiritual weakness.
By faith, I could see a revival coming - the Body of Christ rediscovering the power of the Gospel and their obligation to it. But for the time being, all I could do was sense how wrong the situation was - and pray." (p. 51)

Running the race

This is part of Paul's farewell to his friends, the Ephesian elders, before he sails on to Jerusalem.

Acts 20:22-37
"And now, compelled by the Spirit, I am going to Jerusalem, not knowing what will happen to me there. I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me. However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace.
"Now I know that none of you among whom I have gone about preaching the kingdom will ever see me again. Therefore, I declare to you today that I am innocent of the blood of all men. For I have not hesitated to proclaim to you the whole will of God. Keep watch over yourselves and all the flock of which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers. Be shepherds of the church of God, which he bought with his own blood. I know that after I leave, savage wolves will come in among you and will not spare the flock. Even from your own number men will arise and distort the truth in order to draw away disciples after them. So be on your guard! Remember that for three years I never stopped warning each of you night and day with tears.
"Now I commit you to God and to the word of his grace, which can build you up and give you an inheritance among all those who are sanctified. I have not coveted anyone's silver or gold or clothing. You yourselves know that these hands of mine have supplied my own needs and the needs of my companions. In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: 'It is more blessed to give than to receive.' "
When he had said this, he knelt down with all of them and prayed. They all wept as they embraced him and kissed him. What grieved them most was his statement that they would never see his face again. Then they accompanied him to the ship.

There's a few things that stand out to me about this passage:
I particularly connect with these words because I'm about to leave my family and friends behind to go join new friends at work spreading the joy-full truth of the Gospel in a different country. I hope that unlike Paul, I will still have the opportunity to see most of my friends again, but who knows what might happen, and the increased violence in Greece lately does make my parents a bit more anxious.
I'm wondering whether I can honestly declare that I am "innocent of the blood of all men" that I have met. Have I proclaimed the Gospel whole-heartedly with all my words and actions? When I've failed, have I unashamedly - in fact, loudly! - let the grace of Jesus wash over me in order to glorify - make known and magnify! - the love and mercy of God? Do I consider my life worth nothing to me apart from the task of proclaiming the grace of Christ? Am I truly running the race with all I've got in me, or is my effort and perserverance wavering... have I stopped to admire and pick flowers along the side of the track? Have I been working as much as I can to supply all of my needs in order to have as much extra to give and share to help those more in need than me? Have I let it fully sink in yet how much more wonderful of a feeling it is to give rather than receive?... To empty my life of "my" possessions and cling with every ounce of strength to the one thing - the only one, THE ONE - who defines who I am - Jesus Christ.

Have you asked yourself these questions lately? I pray they spur you on to run harder, further, and faster than you feel you're capable of... It's true, on your own you won't be running your best race... so May your journey be filled with God's strength, endurance, perserverance... - your "POWER-aide" - and refreshing, cool, LIVING water.

Past - Present - Future

I think daily life could use a healthy combination of the past, present, and future...

First, get out your Bibles and read one of my favorite Psalms - #33.

It's talking about the steadfast love of the Lord... and if you read carefully, you'll notice it talks about God's love and faithfulness through the past, present, and future. :)

Past -
I LOVE to reflect on past events in my life... it gives me excitement and energy for the present and future. Like, this week I got to go and share my summer story with yet another group of students. It was so fun to relive the wonderful memories and lessons I had learned through my experiences! What a blessing! I also had a chance to share a quick summary of my personal testimony with the school secretary... and on my drive home I cried refreshing, cleansing tears in thankfulness for all that God has done in my life. :) I've been reading/skimming through old journal entries lately, and sometimes I even shock myself with the insights I gleaned in past days, and it's super sweet to have them even more solidly cemented in my life when I have the opportunity to review them.

Present -
As much as I love reflecting on the past, I can't let that steal the importance of the present! With each new day comes new mercies and opportunities to follow God's leading in each moment. There's people to meet and encourage, there's opportunity to learn new lessons, there's an obligation to stay focused on pressing tasks,... time is precious!! In the scheme of things, remember, life is SOOO short, so ENJOY today, and make the most of every opportunity to GLORIFY GOD (make God KNOWN!) and CELEBRATE God's love and faithfulness alive in your life. Don't miss any chance to share the truth with those around you. You can try and "make plans" to do more of this... but don't let the time you spend doing that distract you from the life to be lived THIS VERY MOMENT!

Future -
Ah... the future. :) I am SUCH a dreamer. Like I've said before, I get atleast a few new ideas every week for what I'd like to do with my short time here on this earth. But nothing has freed me up to do that as much as totally surrendering my life plans to the will of the Lord. I learned a big lesson this summer... I have not really learned to FULLY RELY ON GOD yet. I hadn't learned to trust God fully with what would happen with my life in each new day. Sure, I thought I was getting there... and the truth is, we'll probably never completely arrive while we're walking around on this distracting, demon-filled earth. However, following the opportunities God opens up to step beyond my comfort zone has given me even more peace and hope for the future than I had while I was trying to make "good, responsible plans" myself.

And as it says at the end of Psalm 33:
"Our soul waits for the LORD;
he is our help and our shield.
For our heart is glad in him,
because we trust in his holy name.
Let your steadfast love, O LORD, be upon us,
even as we hope in you.

Blessings, SMILE, and be FILLED to overflowing with the PEACE and JOY of our awesome God!

Overflowing... :)

Ah, I love it when God fills me up with joy to overflowing. It happens quite frequently, what can I say. I REALLY need to go to bed soon, but I just gotta bullet point list some of the sweet things of the last few days:

• Caught up on the blogs I follow through google reader.
• Made lots of Greek flashcards to study with
• Finished a book about the history of many prominent religions and cults of the world and how they compare with Christianity
• Had a great workout! Ah, exercise just makes you feel so good. :)
• Awesome sky observation during drives and in grandma's sweet "window room" - beautiful sunsets with snowy scenery... and seeing the moon with the planets close by!
• Bought groceries... I kinda enjoy grocery shopping actually. :) :)
• Visited my great grandma at her new living space in Pella (she can't quite call it "home" yet...)
• Went to my brother's JV basketball game in my old high school - whoa, that flooded my mind with many old memories of my basketball days... :) Oh fun!
• Helped him with his freshman Geometry and English homework - yeah for Geometry proofs and getting briefed on the first half of "To Kill a Mockingbird" ,and then reading aloud the "black worship" scene.
• Random cruising around town with my brother to look at the stars and see a big snowman
• Read more about Greek Orthodoxy
• Started re-reading my journals from last summer again. Oh man, I love that. Makes me smile, laugh, and occasionally wanna cry all at the same time! :)
• Babysat my cute little red-headed neighbor boy - oh the joys of coloring with 2-year olds, reading little kids books, playing with toy train sets, and changing poopy diapers. Honestly, babysitting always makes me really, really WANT and really NOT WANT kids all at the same time. How's that work, lol?
• Cut up a BUNCH of my old T-shirts with my grandma to make a quilt. :)
• Had chicken soup, dried apples, and yummy pumpkin bars at grandma's house. :)
• Practiced crocheting and knitting with my mom. :) :)
• SOLVED THE RUBIK'S CUBE a handful of times. I keep getting faster and faster. I love solving puzzles and figuring out things for the first time, and I also really love growing in understanding through memorizing and patterns. :)
• And finally, just before this post, I somehow just naturally became ever more overflowing with joy as I responded to an encouraging e-mail from a NWC faculty member. :D :D

Yeah, there was probably a handful of other great things I accidently left out of this list... but, oh well...

Hopefully atleast one of my joys of these last few days made you smile too. ;) This is another FULL week, so who knows when I'll actually post again; but goodness, I haven't been sleeping enough lately, so I really better start making that more of a priority!! NIGHT!